The Return of the Inapprpriate Yoga Guy · 3 April 2008

Sheesh. There’s sexual energy that sees itself… and sexual energy that is just desperate to be seen. 

Should be no surprise that an informal collection of teachers (of both sexes) counsel each other on the gender biases that we have inherited from past generations of yoga asana tradition. How to engage this legacy while acknowledging and gracefully altering that aspect? Important discussions, and ones which don’t quite need to have their energy drained away by continual public re-explanation that yes, folks, the tradition has been sexist. (This discussion good because of how easy it is to re-gender yoga, reactively, with an angular, uber-disciplined harsh-girl vibe... YJYW culture, with its ballet undertones, might hold the seeds of that.)

Some participants in that conversation about gender have made a commitment not to study with teachers who throw their sexual energy around a classroom. It’s not like it’s any secret who these teachers are. Some of them get famous because they are so very sexy. I don’t have a policy or go around investigating teachers' sexualities, but I understand the impulse to be mindful about this because, obviously, a teacher has access to what Steve calls your inner sanctum. Your "psyche" or (whatever you call the inner world of motivation and desire) is available to a teacher’s subtlest suggestions when you practice, so why expose it to someone whose sexuality/ creative energy is adolescent, dominating, or attention-hoarding? That’s sort of the definition of uncontained— wasted— energy.

If you find yourself doing your hair for yoga, tanning for your practice outfits, or getting nervous stomach… what’s that about? Is it coming from you, or are you responding to something?

How do you know if someone’s not self-possessed sexually? Well, there are the painfully obvious indicators. If they constantly, tenderly adjust students' hair (my favorite), or gingerly align waistbands, or breathe on you heavily, or seek out a lot of charged eye contact… well… give me a break. How tacky do you want your practice to get? Why not practice with someone who is more refined and alchemically sweet?

There is a part of us who wants to go back for the blatant mind sex (Oh yeah! Fun! They keep me mindful! They put me in an “altered state”!), and a part of us that sees this behavior for what it is. Adolescent.

Probably better for yoga to recognize it even if it doesn't recognize itself.

Posted by (0v0)        
Categories: astanga yoga , beta state , having a body , power of suggestion , self-deception

Comment

1. what’s yjyw?

   Posted by: Guest · Apr 3, 07:21 PM · #

2. oh, also – wow, how totally unprofessional. talk about a sure-fire way to fuck up the group dynamic in a led class. i like the uncontained/wasted energy idea – i think i’d call the same thing ‘shitty boundaries.’ they’re so draining to be around…

   Posted by: Guest · Apr 3, 07:27 PM · #

3. Thanks for writing. You must be new here…

   YJYW a kind of cyborg made up of two influential institutions (YJ, YW) and a whole lot of living breathing yogis. And the companies who try to sell things to us. :)

   It is kind of interesting to me how professionalism and charisma interact in yoga. If you have a lot of the latter you might get away with less of the former. Sometimes students like shitty boundaries?

   Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 3, 07:34 PM · #

4. ah. got it. the yoga industry.

   i reckon some students think they like shitty boundaries, for a bit, because it feels kind of like being special, and because it’s dramatic and andrenaline-producing (all of which sounds sickeningly like a description of pedophilic grooming). but it turns to ashes in your mouth so, so quickly. reckon it creates a fair amount of “churn” in the classes where it happens.

   Posted by: Guest · Apr 3, 07:54 PM · #

5. I agree that this is an adrenaline high that might really generate recrimination afterwards. Briefly visited a room where a teacher was working over several women simultaneously, and the desperation and hurt were already churning right there. Oy. There was almost a feel of collective addiction in it. I don’t know if the teacher could even empathize very much because it was all about being the center of attention. Being hot.

   At the same time, especially as the yoga gets more contemplative, a well of creative-sexual energy in ourselves gets tapped. That energy is present in the most alchemical, “spiritual” rooms, and sometimes that can come up against a student’s boundaries. Is that bad?

   Too, really gifted teachers draw on their creativity and life force if they’re passing on the most transformative aspects of ashtanga.

   On the flip-side (which is different since the power dynamic is reversed), students may place teachers on a pedestal and fall worshipfully in love. What if the teacher responds by being repulsed by the besotted student? Is there an option to accept this heavy projection without taking it personally, and give the student time to re-harness his young sexual energy and feed it back in to his own practice? Some teachers who are really “clean” energetically make a huge amount of space for that kind of growth without thinking less of a student for falling in love…. It’s heavy, like being a therapist is heavy. But it’s also, sometimes, a gift to students.

   It seems like a good idea to acknowledge and respect this energy, especially considering that otherwise it might explode.

   I would rather gracefully implode by figuring out the sublimation thing.(Which, yes!, is not likely to happen if I’m being sexually teased by a teacher.)

   Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 3, 08:38 PM · #

6. I’m with you 100%. What springs to mind is a loose analogy between the teacher/student and parent/child relationships. If the teacher-parent isn’t getting his needs met in his primary relationship, and if he doesn’t have the ego strength and self-awareness to deal with it outside the presence of the “children,” there’s gonna be big trouble. Students-kids need a safe space to feel what they’re feeling, emotionally, sexually, spiritually, whatever you want to call it. They absolutely need to be able to rely on the teacher-parent – there’s no substitute for this. If the teacher-parent is violating that safety by playing ego games with the students-kids, the students-kids are going to suffer, period.

   Yoga (in the postural and spiritual senses) is very powerful stuff – and I think it’s pretty common to drastically underestimate how important teachers are. And this is not helped by the fact that in a lot of scenes, yoga teachers are working class/lower middle class, and the students are middle class/upper middle class. It’s not easy to lead and defer at the same time.

   Posted by: Guest · Apr 4, 03:27 AM · #

7. Some of this is pretty much textbook transference, which begs for clarity and restraint on the part of the teacher. Sort of the psychoanalytic model. But with actual bodies and touching. I imagine all of our unsubtle misinterpretations of brahmacharya might get a workout in this space: opportunity to clear underlying personality issues (teacher AND student) and refine energies in relation to other people.

   As we’ve dicussed before — in psychoanalysis, the role of keeping the relationship refined and above-board and fully conscious falls to the analyst. Part of his/her job. Less clear for yoga teachers. I’d vote that it IS part of the job, but if a teacher isn’t refined, he/she won’t know what he/she doesn’t know.

   Up to the student, then, to set the boundaries. And back to the don’t-know-what-you-don’t-know hall of mirrors.

   Ultimately, all karmas play out.

   Posted by: karen · Apr 4, 04:49 AM · #

8. Owl, I don’t get it. Am I really so oblivious in the room that I’m not seeing these things? My mind is running in a negative direction right now, must fight that urge.

   I don’t get it.

   Posted by: LI Ashtangini · Apr 4, 12:19 PM · #

9. I have witnessed a male teacher putting product in his hair before class. Good call!

   Posted by: cody · Apr 4, 12:26 PM · #

10. No hair product! Be careful! Kidding. (We can make an exception for you to use product on your ‘fro before class, too.)

    I don’t know if you’re oblivious! But if you are, that’s awesome! Cultivate that, stay inside. This is good and so much deeper. I honor and commend it.

    And I’m not being negative or gossiping about some underlying message. This is just an aspect of practice that comes up sometimes.

    We don’t much talk about the deeper currents of practice, but the energetic stuff is where transformation comes from. Sexual dynamics might be part of that. It’s not bad or creepy at all! But the boundaries thing comes up.

    Like Karen said, all karmas play out.

    Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 4, 01:12 PM · #

11. karma
    karma
    karma

    Posted by: R · Apr 4, 01:43 PM · #

12. I’ve occassionally practiced with a teacher that has the strongest sexual energy I’ve ever encountered in a yoga room. The interesting thing is that this energy is not predatory at all. I can’t explain it really well, but even though he is all pure testosterone and pheromones, he is not intrusive at all with it. So when he adjusts you, even though you feel this male energy, you don’t feel like he is trying to seduce you or even affect you in any way.

    Well, at least I don’t. And I usually recoil pretty hastily when I feel inappropiate behaviours or energy. I’ve seen some women in his class totally affected, though (I was going to write I’ve seen women suck it up but that sounds like a really bad pun).

    It’s really weird but kind of interesting at the same time.

    Posted by: V · Apr 4, 01:43 PM · #

13. So juicy.

    I know what you are talking about, V. It’s rare, and as good as practice gets.

    Supportive, awake, challenging, and not up in your face. Love it.

    Oh and will somebody tell R that when Karen and I talk karma we don’t mean some woo-woo secret gotcha principle, but just facticity?

    You must know by now that Owl is simply a Sein und Zeit reprise? The integral shit didn’t give me away? So have mercy! No more Mark Kozelek!!!!

    Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 4, 02:16 PM · #

14. LOL! I agree on the Mark Kozelek. The other two vids were delightful, though. Interesting how they both had a kind of tunnel-like motif (the road / the hotel hallway) and a sense of unrelenting movement (perhaps ongoing thrownness?). I LOVE the Radiohead vid, esp. Hadn’t seen it before. Chin on the front seat with jacket all hiked up around the neck. Yup. Perfect.

    Posted by: karen · Apr 5, 07:14 AM · #

15. Yes, the Radiohead is good; and I love Tricky. Apparently some people actually like Mark Kozelek (?), so that might not have been intended as a slur.

    Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 5, 08:24 AM · #

16. I knew a female teacher who outrageously flirted with her male students during the class. It left everyone in the class with an unpleasant taste in the mouth. The funny thing was that she was happily married and very beautiful; she did not really need anything from them except for the affirmation of her beauty and desirability. Bleh.

    Posted by: Alfia · Apr 6, 03:34 PM · #

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