Inverted World · 12 April 2009
(Post Heavily Revised. My mind seems to be in transit...)
He is risen!
He is risen indeed!
For less Christian call-and-response, there was some kirtan in Santa Monica last night, but despite my claims to have conquered jet lag (perhaps with the help of my new titanium wrist band or a 22-hour tarry in London that softened me up for the second flight), I passed out early and missed it. Oh well, probably best to feel some Judeo-Christian mind today. It’s the biggest holiday of the year for my family, after all: I felt my dad issuing that old greeting to the congregation at the same 9:00 moment that I sat down for breakfast with the yogis after practice. Just before, I held extra breaths in mukta hasta sirsa C, imagining myself to be not the Tarot’s hanged man but Saint Peter himself, and called that good enough. (Actually, turns out I’m only 20% Peter but 90% Jude.)
Hanged man is about right, though: still feeling a little spacey here. Maybe it’s that my ability to sleep at roughly appropriate times belies the still-inverted circadian rhythms; or it’s the daytime lucid dreaming techniques I’m putting in to practice (no results yet…); or it’s hangover from the intense dreamlife that bleeds in to wakefulness in Mysore. Ask anyone: your subconscious turns Technicolor and barrels straight at you night if not day in that place. I cannot explain this, but find it both revealing and relaxing.
Relaxing because, for now, whatever pulls me out of the super-beta front of my head, back in to peripheral vision, back into dream consciousness… this is what begins to dissolve the tension that is most interesting. The knots along the upper inside of the jawbone, in the eye sockets, temples, roots of the teeth, center of the forehead. Habitual flexion in the tongue. Funny, this is where the yoga thing began—a neurosurgeon saying “take responsibility” for releasing the post-car-accident tension in a jammed TMJ. A Thai massage therapist two weeks ago said: Your body is free from the neck down.... The chakras in the head are another thing.
Why, yes.
I received much this month for a girl who just went off to pay her respects and get a little perspective. Strength in practice, a sense of history, rational explanations for some aspects of traditional practice that have long disturbed me (don’t tell me rationality isn’t important: it’s key), first hand experiences that fill me with gratitude for the institution and the greater practices of yoga to which it leads, and the inspiration of beautiful people who have kept this as a practice long after the asana-learning was exhausted. But, maybe it all becomes even more juicy after asana gets boring. Mysore is a good place to peel off to the next layer or two of the onion.
When I started writing about this practice years ago, the only thing that annoyed me more than chatty Yogaworks formalism was the identity crisis of colleagues who left that school for eight weeks in Mecca… and came back with hennaed hands and bindi’d brows, having gone in for the decoys of currently correct vinyasa and the perfectly imitated chant as if those were static aspects of some fundamentally “perfect” system. I never did write about Post Mysore Syndrome; and it’s probably too late now since it no longer pisses me off.
Looking around, it seems that, no matter who you are, there is some senti-mental and energetic effect of even a brief period in that zone. Post Mysore Effect is: really nice, strong energy and focus... especially apparent in an uptick in tapas during practice or teaching. I don't know anyone who hasn't come back with a strong hit of something still in his system, as well as a nostalgic sweetness of regard for even the most absurd, uncomfortable memoris. PME turns to PMS, though,when it has to be reactive. When it rejects one's original life and self and practice as somehow inauthentic and dirty. This is the result of the traveler believing the energy hit and the nice memories are her possssion or souvenir, that others are a threat to continued identification with the experience, and that anything except for the (itself weirldy manufactured) experience of Mysore is corrupt.
Some signs that someones PME has turned to PMS:
● Talking in broken English. E.g., telling a student, “Five breathings” or “you do;” or dismissing class with “go home take rest” even when students just TOOK rest (which you don’t get to do after led class at the KPJAYI, thus the command).
● ALSO: A bizarre new wardrobe, involving the weirdest pants, and bright flowing silks everywhere, and—yes—bindis. Exclusine consumption of Indian food. Defensiveness of the institution, even for things that should not be defended. Decoration of practice with various displays of Mysore-ness. Refusals and rejections of all sorts. Metonymy of India and Mysore, e.g., “I’m going to India," to mean actually "I'm going to Gokulam." Starting most sentences with, "Well in Mysore, they...."
● Rarely (worst case scenario): conversion in to a Sharath-head. Sharath-heads exhibit (1) a groupie mentality filtered through a pseudo-religious “he’s my guru” justification scheme, combined with (2) misattribution of a level of realization that he would never pretend is the case and that isn’t necessary for him to be a good teacher.
Causes:Lack of contentment with everyday life at home. Lack of previous travel experience, especially experience in poor countries. Desire to impress others or feel superior. Mistaking new worldly sophistication with some kind of spiritual progress. And in general: just identifying with the experience.
Cures:
More experience. More practice. Compassion from people at home. Rarely, a talking-to from someone who's been through it.
Benign indicators of PME that has not escalated to PME:
● Resolutions of self. These may seem to be born of a delusional mindset but actually seem to be pretty stable. There is something to be said for taking a long time away from your old patterns and for getting really relaxed.
● Missing terribly the experience and the friends made there. Yes, it’s a college dormitory level of sociality, but it can be very good quality sociality with extraordinarily sweet people. There’s nothing delusional about loving this even if it’s highly manufactured and impossible to reproduce back home.
● Increase in respect/ decrease in cynicism for the institution. When you see that it is just a family business run on a skeleton staff, suddenly the humility and the grandeur of the enterprise come forth. Of course crazy edicts are issued to manage the spoiled hoards and of course instruction is variable and enormously expensive. Westerners are breaking down the gates, even more crazily expecting the family to be our geniuses or even gods. We did this—we imagined it and created a whole Mysore world out of it. The KPJAYI is just giving us—so generously—an anchor for us to go on creating this oddly wonderful experience.
Posted by (0v0)
Categories: astanga yoga
, beta state
, integration
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Oh, I forgot to link mention these. They’re all in 4 parts. I link the first. I really adore this guy’s mind.
SHINZEN YOUNG: INTERNET SENSATION
Ordinary Consciousness is the Way For Liz.
Discrimination and Unification
Zero and One
And, image credit.
Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 12, 04:12 PM · #
Ok, a little more random edification…
The Dathun Letter
Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 12, 07:10 PM · #
Hi hi!
oooh, thanks for the link, I’ll go there next!
Really really love this post. So fun to read, many laughs- most struck by “We did this”. Never really thought of that. But of course!
I have always cringed at the PMS (hilarious…) way of speaking in broken English. It’s just so weird! I did practice for awhile with a nice and spunky woman who had the best SKPJ stories- she would imitate him with pure love in her eyes. It was sweet. I forgave her of her fake Indian accent during led classes. She was one who could carry it off since there was a sense of theater about her already!
Posted by: Liz · Apr 12, 09:56 PM · #
I REALLY hate that silly ‘talking in broken English’ thing WHEN ENGLISH IS THE TEACHER’S FIRST LANGUAGE. I can’t decide whether it’s simply pretentious or merely insulting to those who actually speak that way to those whose first language is not English.
Posted by: LI Ashtangini · Apr 13, 04:59 AM · #
I can: It’s both. :)
Posted by: katie · Apr 13, 07:40 AM · #
: )
I wonder if there would be much more unity throughout the subculture and less controversy specifically about the pilgrimmage thing if it were not for the deleterious effects of travelers’ PMS on returnees’ students and shala mates.
I just revised this post a lot. My thoughts seem to be trailing behind me by several days… the lagged effects of long distance travel.
Got to work now!!!
Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 13, 08:56 AM · #
I totally agree with one of your causes – not enough travel (especially in poor countries)... As an aussie in Mysore I was shocked at how so many Americans had traveled all that way from the US to go straight to Mysore and then straight home again without seeing any other part of India (let alone another country)... and now, living in the US, I am amazed at how few of the well educated people I meet have traveled outside of this country… Though now that I am aware of the the terrible holiday entitlements that are standard here I am no longer so surprised!
Posted by: Sally · Apr 13, 08:59 AM · #
Yes, Americans are clueless. I’m sorry, Sally. We do need an economic reality check. Both about what goes on in the ghetto, in cities like New Orleans, in rural America and on Indian Resrvations and in the majority of countries on the planet.
The first time I spent two weeks in rural Mexico (at age 16) I was reborn politically, religiously (instant break with evangelical Christianity) and I think phenomenologically. Greatest revelation of my life, and I’m sure I made a huge, naive mess of it when I came back to the US.
I understand if people finally have some version of that at age 30 in Mysore, but it’s a bit difficult for me to watch, to be honest. Esp becaus it gets confusingly conflated with the sort of yogic renewal experience, yielding false insights about how poor people are more spiritual and living without modern conveniences brings your closer to god.
Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 13, 09:12 AM · #
Very interesting discussion going on in the comment section! I feel like I was lucky to stumble into travel early in life (well, early 20s, I’m a late bloomer). It gives one a hugely different perspective for sure. As “poor” as I think I am sometimes, I know that I’m actually quite wealthy, almost to the point where I feel shame (!!). I think what Sally is saying is true, too- that Americans don’t have much holiday time and that work time is so oddly off balance with the rest of life. It’s getting harder to make a buck- so travel is not high on people’s lists. Sad. It’s an education worth more than people realize.
Posted by: Liz · Apr 13, 09:26 AM · #
Hey, thanks for taking us with you on your trip, Owl!
As far as this business of affecting phrases/accents after practice at the KPJAYI: is it possible to see this as a kind of mantra? Someone has a wonderful experience, the sound of the teacher’s voice (including phrasing and accent) resonates and sticks — the person comes home, and repeating that phrasing and accent helps pull the experience back in its totality — helps reinforce (and, perhaps…?) transmit something bigger than the words?
I have phrases from Seung Sahn stuck in my head, Korean accent and all, and it is very hard not to say them that way. Because the sound is part of the meaning (go, Sanskrit!).
Anyhow, just a thought.
Posted by: karen · Apr 13, 11:40 AM · #
20% Peter and 90% Jude? I’m glad to know you’re back to your 110% norm.
Posted by: Carl · Apr 13, 11:46 AM · #
All familiar, but in a way that better suits an email I promised some time ago. And which I must again defer (temporarily).
Posted by: patrick · Apr 13, 12:45 PM · #
No apologies to me, please! ... there are plenty of Australians who are clueless as well… but I think that the ones who end up in Mysore have generally done some other traveling that can temper the conflation that you so accurately describe. In some ways our isolation is a blessing – once we leave the country we tend to travel for a long time because it is so far to return home.
Posted by: Sally · Apr 13, 01:43 PM · #
welcome back :)
Posted by: cody · Apr 13, 06:59 PM · #
Great post, Owl.
This kind of PMS is not limited to people going to Mysore, in fact I think it is a syndrom of all those who for the first time went to a remote and culturally completely different part of the world. If they didn’t hate it they come back ‘enlightened’ by their experience and often like to start ‘preaching’ to those who’ve not been yet. We are all guilty of it a little bit. I certainly was full of it after my first Africa trip (well I did spend 3 months travelling in 3 countries, so a bit more than just going to one town full of westerners, but still). 12 years on, and well over 2 years of living experience in Africa, I can still sometimes fall into the trap of ‘my Burkina Faso’,and comparing all of Africa to the 10 coutries I visited on the continent, so one needs to be careful.
Oops, but I have veered of the subject and again managed to slip in Africa into a conversation on Yoga and India. I smell a syndrome here!
Posted by: Fatou · Apr 13, 09:34 PM · #
Fatou… yeah! What is this about travel to poor countries and the sense that this creates enlightenment? FWIW I’ve seen it among those from poor countries who come hang out in the US as well. Just on of the latter stages of culture shock… the “enlightenment effect”?
That said… I also would argue that travel is enlightening. It’s just problematic when it creates fundamentalists and evangelists. Should it not also be able to create bridge builders and public servants? :-)
FWIW, your comment helped me note my own PMS the past two days. I’ve been particularly reactive toward my old friend Betty in the moments she goes in for the owl driste. She’s great practice for me, annoyingly.
Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 16, 11:04 AM · #
Karen, that’s a good point. And I agree with Liz that sometimes it can be carried off if class is in a light and playful register.
But I’ve dropped in on many classes where the pidgin English is done in a way that says “I’m Mysore-branded, so I am awesome.” Or some other really not self-aware sensibility. Cringe.
Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 16, 11:08 AM · #
95% practice, 15% theory?
W.R.T. Which apostle are you? I sort of wanted to be Thomas. He’s the one who wouldn’t believe all that ressurection malarkey until his own experience confirmed it. And he was also interested in India, the land where he ultimately died. I hear there is still a sect of Thomasine Christians in Kerala, two millenia later.
Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 16, 11:10 AM · #
to go back to the question of language— the thing is: language, even broken english, is radically contagious. it can also be oddly medicinal for a person to be out of his or her idiom. so often when we find ourselves around people speaking our own language in a certain noticeably different way—albeit fractured, whether affected or not—and a chord is struck somewhere in our mind, heart or marrow, we adopt it. it is a free souvenir, one which marks you, visibly and invisibly. like most stuff people bring back from travels, the degree to which is waved around or excessively vaunted, as if it is some trophy singling you out as special among the tribe, can be annoying. but it also might have some compelling value for the brain. ....there is medicine too in keeping a reminder of distance close— on the tongue— as my old friend in thailand always said to me, “i love you too much”— meaning, “so much.” but i liked it better the way he said it.
Posted by: Sara · Apr 26, 08:05 AM · #
Beautifully put and generous, Sara.
So good to see you and welcome here.
Posted by: (0v0) · Apr 26, 11:14 AM · #