Great Vibes (For Your Toes) · 10 December 2008
KS up in the Portland office clipped this from the current US Weekly. Looks like ad prices are going down. More of the same to come...?
I wonder what they will think of next. Maybe...
-Electro-stimulation sensors to hook up to your spine at night. Let it raise your kundalini for you, while you sleep!
-Driste training wheels: a headgear dangles a tiny photo of your favorite guru, right in front of your third eye. Like this (note correct crossing of the eyes). This product is extra aerodynamic to accommodate gymnastic versions of “spiritual” asana practice.
-Interactive chant DVD with mantra recitations by all your favorite teachers. Learn to imitate the idiosyncracies, weird pronunciations and even lisps of your guru of choice.
-Posturefarming: pay teenage practitioners in third world countries to “earn” ashtanga poses for you. Like this. Maybe even hire them to practice deep concentration or enter bliss consciousness on your behalf. Hey, everything is connected.
Posted by (0v0)
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LOL!!! Too funny. If I could get one of those bad boys to give me a pedicure too I’d be all for it.
Great product ideas.
;)
Posted by: Laruga · Dec 11, 03:01 AM · #
I better get my zen blanket on the market soon!
Posted by: Gregor · Dec 11, 06:02 AM · #
i have a set of regular ones (that don’t adjust) and they are really fantastic. i highly recommend them.
Posted by: bindifry · Dec 11, 07:58 AM · #
I could make use of those drishti training wheels.
What about a vibrating tennis ball that senses when practitioners forget their mula bandha and then buzzes them little reminders? Prana, et. al., would be happy to introduce compatible lines of shorts and pants that feature velcroed enclosures for the vibra-balls.
Posted by: Carl · Dec 11, 11:04 AM · #
Bindi, do you have the MINI MASSAGERS?
Carl, this is an excellent concept for yoga apparel. But will the un-initiated think people are stuffing their pants?
What if the vibra-ball goes off during a date?
Uh sorry. That’s just my phone. I keep in in my, uh, perineum….
Posted by: (0v0) · Dec 11, 12:03 PM · #
howling
Ah yes….THIS is why I keep checking in here.
Posted by: patrick · Dec 11, 01:12 PM · #
Hey, watch it! That’s a local business.
Not many of them left here in Michigan.
Posted by: Tim · Dec 11, 07:28 PM · #
i was gonna do some steroids, you know, “juice” but I don’t think my hormone induced Barry Bonds-style giant head would fit between my arms in that funky mayurasana transition. Yoga-roids – be the baddest bad lady yogi on your block. Imagine the possibilities: 3 hour one finger handstands… there I go again mistaking the unreal for the real
Posted by: e&sj · Dec 12, 12:17 AM · #
Inversions will tend to enlarge the head.
One-finger handstands… hilarious.
And Tim is right. From what we’re hearing around here, the YT is a great product. Honestly, my mom might need some.
No word yet on the vibrational aspect though… maybe if I could see it on video…
Posted by: (0v0) · Dec 12, 09:54 AM · #
Hi (0v0)
if i ordered one of those yoga toes kit it might actually make my right big toe not snuggle so much with the toe next to it.
there’s a yoga teacher in another city that calls poses with a hindi accent. maybe he learned it from his favorite teacher.
i would consider posture farming, if it got me through the Advanced A & B series :)
hugs
Arturo
Posted by: arturo · Dec 12, 12:39 PM · #
owl-i don’t have the massaging ones. they are made of that nerf material and they spread apart your toes, which is very healthy. you wear them for a few minutes and work up to sleeping in them. seriously, they were worth the $30 i paid for them. i got them at the hardcore iyengar studio in town. you can also wear them while soaking the feet or in the bath.
Posted by: bindifry · Dec 12, 03:55 PM · #
Done. My mom gets a pair, in sparkly blue. I’m actually giving several foot-related gifts this year. Just realized the connection.
No MINI MASSAGERS though. Nope. That part is really over the top for me.
Re: posture farming, I met that as a super-offensive joke about the nature of global supply chains. Like kind of obscene on a few levels.
:)
Posted by: (0v0) · Dec 13, 03:37 PM · #
just got a little stab of the degradation on this thing we call yoga here in the west. My heart broke a little as I signed up for Freeman in SF at the Mill Valley Studio. Just last week I had checked the web site and all seemed to be business as usual -mom and pop yoga place (assumption) in the good graces as such attracting the esteemed RF. Then today I go back and – you guessed it – YogaFranchise.com TM …WTF? Commodification, corporatization, certification, sterilization – I need a vacation from the transmogrification.
One one hand I get it, but on the other it freaks my yamas and niyamas. Oh well, get over it, its the Kali yuga and then there is the even hand of Kali Chakra who gets everyone in the end, even the Gods.
Posted by: es&j · Dec 13, 05:56 PM · #
I’ve got another one coming, I just need to scan it. PSYCHIC!
LV
KS
Posted by: KSOUTH · Dec 15, 09:23 PM · #
... a little late to this game, but I think you’ll like this:
http://www.mikematthewsyoga.com/id70.html
(HA HA!)
Posted by: Liz · Dec 17, 10:44 PM · #
Liz! I love these.
I wonder what happens when you wear them outside of class?
Do you mistake everyone for an ashtangi and therefore see them as sexy when they really aren’t? Beer goggles for non-drinkers?
Posted by: (0v0) · Dec 18, 11:49 AM · #