Bad Hands · 10 October 2007

Had my blood drawn yesterday, as I do every few months. Went to the little window at the back of the clinic, to the phlebotomy man. Mr. S. He has soft grey hair, and his skin glows. He always seems so happy to see me and notes from the density of my forearms that I am "still working out."

He’s sort of an artist about the whole thing, drawing blood. Says my name and little else in his singing Indian accent: just some sounds to let me know to trust him: “ready… ok… breathe… yes… that is all.” I guess he’s done it thousands of times, this strip of little movements that he has turned into a dance.

He seems to love doing it perfectly. Just as I stand, he darts to the next room for two Motts apple juices, one of them refrigerated and one from his reserves. I used to try to refuse them—the irony of having straight corn syrup foisted on you after measuring for a lipid panel—but it’s clear he’ll feel wrong about the entire episode if I don’t take them.

He always says goodbye wistfully and with love, tells me he will see me in a few months. As if there’s some chance this is our last time together. He must think I have some tragic disease, wondering if each meeting is our last.

Or maybe he has known a lot of patients who one day just stopped coming in.

Yesterday, it was Mr. S who wasn’t there. I know he’s supposed to work on Tuesday mornings.

The young woman in his place was all wrong. Expected me to just know what to do, so nervous about her own movements that she was not at all able to cue me—with both voice and little body movements—through my part of the routine. No human connection, no response to my little weaknesses—the stopping of the breath—when the needle goes in. No emotional signals to let me know it is ok and finished. No food.

I turned on my cell later and someone was booking a private with me as a birthday present for a friend. How do you lead a stranger—stranger to practice, stranger to you—through her first sun salutation? How many times to you have to practice that strip of activity before you’re the master of that dance and your partner can just release into your guidance? How bad is it for her when you’re just thinking of your own movements so much that you’re not merging with hers? And how much of a difference does it make if you’re really there for it, really see them and feel them in a way that means something?

And where is Mr. S? Was he the one with a tragic illness… his emotional doubts about our meeting again more about his own situation than about mine?

Posted by (0v0)        
Categories: arbitrage , astanga yoga , having a body

Comment

1. oh, no! where IS Mr.S??
   now i am worried, too!

   Posted by: cranky housefrau · Oct 10, 10:17 AM · #

2. Maybe he’s on vacation? I am picturing him in Barcelona with some old friend. I think that’s where he’s gone.

   Posted by: (0v0) · Oct 10, 10:26 AM · #

3. lovely post

   Posted by: Tim · Oct 10, 09:56 PM · #

4. I have my blood taken every few months as well, but recently every time I have regrettably felt my head nod when the student asked if she could take my blood and this was her first time. The 1st took in excess of 15mins to do it, and the second let go of the needle and poured blood down my arm. Next time, I’m saying “no”. It’s too stressful, and I feel like I’ve supported medical research now. Mr S sounds great, I never got any food. He probably is in Barcelona, it’s nice there this time of year.

   cj x

   Posted by: CJ · Oct 10, 10:43 PM · #

5. You are too generous! I suppose we can support medical research by donating our bodies… but I’d rather wait until after I’m done with mine.

   The whole thing makes me think how even banal work can be done with style and grace. Repetition is an opportunity for refinement.

   ...She says as she answers banal procedural emails….

   Posted by: (0v0) · Oct 11, 01:10 AM · #

6. When I was hospitalized, I needed bloodwork done every day. After I got the tubes pulled out of my throat, I was allowed to sit next to the bed, and felt very excited to do so.

   So on my first day of seated bliss, a student nurse tried to take my blood….as soon as the needle pierced the skin, my blood spattered all over myself, her, the bed….I had to wait until they changed the linen and then went back to bed as the spectacle had made me very queasy.

   Posted by: The Mindbender · Oct 11, 02:35 AM · #

7. Wait. Booking a private? Really?

   Posted by: flint · Oct 11, 03:01 AM · #

8. Way too many student nurses with needles out there. That is awful.

   AF: yes. Nothing much. But I miss teaching school and think it will be nice. I think I’m more competent than a student nurse.

   Posted by: (0v0) · Oct 11, 03:47 AM · #

9. It’s too bad you missed your friend Mr. S. Maybe he’ll be rested and tanned the next time you go for the blood work and he can regale you with all sorts of Spanish vacation tales.

   Posted by: Carl · Oct 11, 06:27 AM · #

10. i miss him now, too, blogger you. i’ve mentioned it before, but what nice writing you have! thanks for the santa monica times. anything you can think of in/near bhills sunday morn. for practice?

    Posted by: eeyore · Oct 11, 12:46 PM · #

11. I will let you all know when Mr. S reappears from his adventures, and then maybe I will take him some juice. Not Motts, though. Solo zumo fresco.

    Ee. Thanks you for the compliment. It means a lot to me, actually.

    Sunday, you’ll have to drive a bit, but all will be well! EITHER take SMB a good 8-10 miles east to AYLA at Sunset/ Silverlake. OR, jaunt down to the 10 and join me at Home Simply Yoga with M, who is a wonderful teacher. I surmise you prefer females, but M is also a rocket scientist in case that is consolation. And he giggles. I’ll start around 8, but the room should be open 7:30 – 12. Have post-practice plans out of which I cannot weasel. But FYI I will try to catch a funny Kundalini class there that night (I have this thing for kriyas, alas, but mostly just want to support my friend’s new class) with H, who is a true warrior princess. I’m going to want to breathe, after what’s going down on Sunday.

    Posted by: (0v0) · Oct 11, 01:15 PM · #

12. Wait, are you carless? Stranded in that zone without a CAR? The possibility frightens me.

    If so, no worries. I will obviously retrieve you.

    Posted by: (0v0) · Oct 11, 01:19 PM · #

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