INSIDEOWL: Yoga Is Dangerous, Part III

Yoga Is Dangerous, Part III · 18 September 2007

This is not a rant. Maybe it ought to be.

This is a request for someone to help me find humor in a dark bit of tabloid-quality ashtanga flotsam.

This is not a rant because I’m trying to find a middle path between two thoughtful, true perspectives. One, Lax’s reminder that Astanga Yoga is a subculture which tends to cult-like boundary-policing. Yes, it is; and I don't want to be the police. But two, there is Cody’s ongoing meditation on the way in which teacher- student relationships are at least traditionally an integral, even "sacred," aspect of this practice.

So here is the story. A friend was just surveying the ashtanga alternatives here on the west side of Los Angeles, and googled a local teacher neither of us has met. Authorized teacher. Well-connected guy about whom I have heard some good things. Has taken over the room built and nurtured for more than a decade by the philosopher-king Chuck Miller.

Google result: Myspace profile. Who he would like to meet, quote: "Petite brunettes. With daddy issues."

Dude.

Disturbed owl.

Very.

Maybe I’m being uptight. In general, I’m particularly uptight about professionalism, and about respecting teachers. Both those dispositions keep me from knowing exactly how to feel about this self-advertisement, but taking it as a joke feels like it legitimates a sad old sexist dynamic. (What if a female yoga teacher tried this? Now that would be funny.)

Some would say a teacher has a right to express all the beautifully complex and shadow parts of himself openly. That’s a really good argument. But it also would legitimate viewing a teacher as a person with multiple personalities, whereas an implicit goal and undeniable effect of this practice is that it brings the various parts of our selves together over time.

I’ve said before that yoga is dangerous. Because, among other things, it strips away conditioning: lets you see your own behavioral patterns and the power asymmetries in which you indulge, makes you aware of your own sexual energy and how you tend to use it. Yoga is incredibly dangerous, but this has me thinking that some times it is not at all dangerous enough.

I'm sitting here imagining walking into a room where this was the “secretive” intention. I cannot envision it without a visceral feeling of external threat. And that’s not the kind of danger I’m after.

I wonder how many women around here have done their research before class, found the profile, and decided to stay away.

Posted by (0v0)
Categories: astanga yoga , morality , power of suggestion , self-deception , social theory , spirituality

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Comment

I think that teachers are all people, normal people. For the most part anyway, a couple are quite mad. From a teacher in the room helping me with my practice I expect the same kind of professionalism as from a doctor at the surgery. I’m friends with yoga teachers and doctors and outside of work they’re just regular people, warts and all.

I wouldn’t want to have a yoga teacher who smoked and looked hungover for example, that’s my perception of where the line is.

My rule for myself is that I need to feel safe with a teacher and respect them. If one of those 2 is missing, it’s time to find another teacher or practice solo.

A bad teacher can really really destroy your practice and mess you up emotionally as well. Hence my little rule.

I think there’s enough to keep you busy during practice without worrying about the teacher too.

Posted by: CJ · Sep 18, 06:29 PM · #
Oooh, the personal/professional boundary. I know you have thought about this for yourself, for your persona on the web. I have been, lately, too.

I am curious about why taking his advertisement as a bit of a joke is necessarily legitimizing a sexist dynamic. I say this (and I hope no one from my professional life is reading!) as a petite brunette. With Daddy issues. I say that a little snidely, or ironically, or perhaps apologetically, which is kind of sad, don’t you think? After all, weird things move us. Is the fact of mentioning it on one’s private web page the transgression? Does the transgression lie in the fact that he feels that way at all?

Fascinating questions!

In this case, I imagine I’d go to the teacher and see if he was a good teacher. If he’s got particular private preferences, fine. If they’re playing out in the classroom, not fine.

Posted by: karen · Sep 18, 09:10 PM · #
Good rule, CJ. You have a talent for keeping your life free of other peoples’ drama.

Karen, I’d answer yes to this: Is the fact of mentioning it on one’s private web page the transgression? Except, a web page is not private. The internet is an uneven mixture of public and semi-private locations, and we each make an individual decision about how much of ourselves to put out there. Myspace, that tacky node of teenage sociality, is one of (if not the) most public location there is.

I guess (and hope!) that every astanga teacher has his own turn-ons, and that they’re more interesting than petitte brunette and more kinky than straughtup oedipal re-play.

What gets me is the choice this teacher has made about his presentation of self. Not the possession of the fetish, but the style and location of broadcast. Most potential students will come across this page, and engage with this oversized identity he’s fashioning before even walking into his room. The lack of professionalism or taste in presenting that image to potential students suggests either a lack of conscientitiousness about taking on that role, or a willingness to intimidate. To me it also suggests that, far from seeing teaching as a form of service to the student, on some level the teacher is focused on feeding his own vrittis.

Odd that someone would want to amplify that image of his self. I mean, have some subtlety.

Posted by: (0v0) · Sep 19, 12:43 AM · #
How could it not play out in class? Samskaras, vasanas, and karma…past, present and future.

If it’s a joke, it demonstrates poor judgment at the very least. In marketing terms – it’s certainly not the way to build a trusted brand.

If it’s sincere, then yikes! An authority figure that’s actively seeking exploitative situations?

At least the self-awareness is strong!

Posted by: cody · Sep 19, 12:54 AM · #
Oh. The humor thing. Well, I feel like jokes are a way we manage to talk about taboos (around race, sex, power, class, whatever) we otherwise wouldn�t. But the other way we use humor is to make light of social events and relationships that make us uncomfortable. When I make a joke about the fact that there were less that 100 black students enrolled at UCLA last year, it replaces the outrage such inequality would usually elicit with a sense that the situation is a quirky given about which we can only stylize our resignation with a laugh.

In other situations, humor can be the most subversive thing ever (Colbert at the press dinner). But I have a sense that if I take this as a joke, I spare myself the discomfort of putting myself out there with a risky protest. I�m saying that this is a little weird, but ultimately everything is OK.

To be honest, I�m tempted to take it as a joke. (That’s how I usually deal with the glass ceiling in academia, and it makes things way easier.) That way I can get along with the guy and explore what valuable insights he may have to offer as a teacher. After all, any Mysore room is a precious potential resource.

Posted by: (0v0) · Sep 19, 12:58 AM · #
An authority figure that�s actively seeking exploitative situations?

Uh huh. That’s the crux, I guess.

From five (private!) emails this post has inspired this morning, I gather this guy presents a polarizing figure. Personally, I like audacious. I like the dark side. There’s way too much conformity in this scene in terms of self-presentation along the lines of body size, dress, demeanor, sexuality. Sometimes the effort to look the part is just as assuming as an effort to be different.

But that’s not relevant here. What’s relevant is what Cody said.

Posted by: (0v0) · Sep 19, 01:09 AM · #
I also agree with Cody. Would you choose a banker who had on his/her myspace page information about cheating people out of their hard earned cash???? thanks for this

Posted by: lulu · Sep 19, 01:36 AM · #
if this guy were a college professor, he’d be out of a job. period. (“wait, but where i said i was in search of ‘hot undergrads looking to bump that C up into an A’—that was on my personal myspace page. it was private! and i was…joking?”) you don’t get to joke about sexual exploitation in settings where sexualized power dynamics are pernicious and common. it’s not about whether ashtanga does too much boundary policing or whether some people wanna taka walk on the wild side. or whether he’s a good teacher. this makes him a bad teacher.

the internet is public. people google people. dude.

Posted by: R · Sep 19, 01:48 AM · #
R hit the nail on the head.
exactly!

Posted by: Tova · Sep 19, 02:10 AM · #
Yeah, I’m still not good with the absolute thumbs-up/thumbs-down on this guy. Maybe he’s a dope, maybe he’s naive, whatever. Not so sure I’d figure he’s flawed in a way that’s more significant than any other teacher — aside from being web-naive, maybe.

Posted by: karen · Sep 19, 03:11 AM · #
You raised an excellent point! That teacher’s intentions are quite clear now and anyone who passes within his range should rightly be suspicious. Similarly, gays should be barred from military service because, frankly, they make their intentions pretty obvious too. We simply can’t have males with clear sexual intentions gaining positions of authority over the innocent.

Okay, maybe it should be taken seriously. There’s a sizable body of assumptions following on from the statement this yoga teacher made. The vast majority of these assumptions are not his own. My guess, based on the fragment you provide for us, is that he’s partly alluding to the way yoga students iconize their teachers. Maybe he offers it in jest and maybe he doesn’t. You can analyze this in as many different ways as you like but your conclusions can’t possibly be realistic until the facts are fleshed out more.

My advice: Potential Yoga Student should roll her eyes and know that there’s yet another goofjob out there teaching yoga. Said goofjob is probably interesting, capable and respectful. Check him out closer up.

Posted by: Carl · Sep 19, 03:27 AM · #
I can understand into your point of view, Carl, and think it’s good to consider. But that’s a seriously bum analogy.

An orientation (homo, bi, hetero— everybody’s got one) is not a “clear sexual intention,” as is an objectifying “who I’m looking for” statement. Conversely, this is not a witch-hunt such as those which preceded Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell. And what would happen to any military authority with a Myspace profile implicitly targeting subordinates for sex? Most organizations regulate that kind of bad form—the military especially.

Assuming this is not just a joke but a clever comment on students’ weaknesses is more than giving the benefit of the doubt. That’s an attempt to legitimate unprofessional actions as a form of “instruction.” Classic tactic of corrupt teachers.

I’m not saying this teacher is corrupt like that. Rather, my guess is that he’s cool yet relatively immature (compared to other teachers—can you imagine yours doing such a thing?) and, as K said, web-naive. Not a criminal, but not in the same league as others we’ve been lucky to know (many of whom don’t even enjoy the official AYRI designation from which his career benefits).

I’d be happy to practice with a goofjob, because I basically like EVERYONE who practices astanga yoga, but I would prefer a mature teacher. It’s just a matter of keeping my own practice focused on my path, not a teacher’s projections and desires. Better use of my effort.

Posted by: (0v0) · Sep 19, 04:04 AM · #
I would prefer a mature teacher… Better use of my effort.

That’s all that’s needed. We select our teachers according to our needs and anyone with the maturity to recognize this will bypass any of those potential issues.

I do think this discussion parallels the military-versus-homosexuality issue in some ways. Your perspective on that topic is as an observer, not as a core participant, so it probably looks very different. One side wants to maintain rigid decorum or at least a reasonable affectation of such. The other side wants what’s perceived as openness and fair treatment depsite dissimilarity. The military institution is not constructed with maturity though. Never will be.

Posted by: Carl · Sep 19, 04:36 AM · #
I’d be curious to check this fellow out, just to see if I could pinpoint what Guruji saw in him. As far as lecherousness goes — meh. If he turned out to be slimy, I’d just not return to class.

Posted by: karen · Sep 19, 05:40 AM · #
Wow—carl, tova, I had no idea you were over here. I just found this post and I like it, owl. In fact, I’m gonna look for this guy on the internet. (carl, that is a bum analogy. i can’t even begin with it) Well, hmmm. I’m not so sure that mr. whoever actually is aware that he is showing his ‘dark side’. He doesn’t seem to see that that is 1)inappropriate for someone in his line of work. 2) a kind of fucked up way to set up a relationship, with that ‘one up, one down’ thing right from the start. I’m a big brunette, so he wouldn’t fancy me, but I might go to him just for a lark (probably because I’m still a little sick myself), but I might not be too interested in him as a regular teacher. In fact, this might be a good suuxin, cranky, laksmi field trip…

Posted by: laksmi · Sep 23, 08:01 AM · #
I�ve thought over this matter in the past week, thanks to the many people who have emailed me. So, two things.

One. If the desire to �put oneself out there� as irrevently funny trumps a sensitivity to the real power big men have over small women�if ego trumps empathy�then clearly this person has not gone through the process of self-examination of inherited gender conditioning, and radical affirmation of human equality, that I�d wish he had as a modern yogi.

To do that, to learn to be feminists, most men need to have a transformative relationship with a fully realized woman. In the same way that white people in this country don�t even begin to undo their inherited racism (even if they emotionally antd intellectually despise racism) until they enter in to deep relationships with people of color as equals.

It is difficult to imagine someone who understands the process of self-transformation through relationship explicitly taking advantage of his gender and size to leverage a sexualized power over small women. Someone who�d sensitized himself to any women�s subjectivity would have some idea of the almost primitive responses that would call up in her, and would respect her enough to give her space. Multiply all this by about a million for anyone who ever enters into the role of teacher. That shit is almost sacred.

I do hope this teacher will find this discussion, because maybe he truly doesn�t know that his conduct is so deeply symbolic and powerly affecting. You are a powerful man, man: that�s a responsibility.

Two. WHATEVER! Ashtanga yoga is deeply about doing what is uncomfortable. About undoing fears through direct experience. I worry that I have made a �thing��a personal mental obstacle�out of my feelings about this stranger.

Most people are still sexist on some deep level. This behavior is common in the world I inhabit: people who get it are the exception. It�s just not up to me to care. Or correct.

So it looks like at some point I�ll have to track this joe down and practice with him. I�ll try not to flirt with him, which is exactly what I would have done if I hadn�t seen that profile (because I hear he is a funny guy), but I might have to do something that violates his sense of propriety on my way out of �his� room. Any suggestions?

Ha!

Posted by: (0v0) · Sep 25, 12:17 AM · #